Hearing and Living Your Own Music

Yesterday I gave a presentation to the regional National Association of Social Workers. It’s certainly been an honor to be with my fellow social workers and to share what I have learned through working with my clients and groups.

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to give many presentations, whether at conferences, workshops about my own work or trainings through Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute. In the past year I’ve been wondering about something that I repeatedly notice. As I write I realize I am puzzling over my experience of it.

There was a time when it fed my narcissism to be in front of people putting on a show. Over the past 3-5 years though that hasn’t been as fulfilling. I’ve realized I don’t want to be a talking head. What appeals to me is to support others to know their own knowing. To share what I know but only in the service of the other(s) deepening into their own wisdom.

My body is really leading the charge with this learning. WhenI am not present to myself, even if only in a tiny way separated, my body goes into an internal shudder which only gets louder and louder until I pay attention. I’m learning to listen! As I listen the cringe stops. This has taught me something important about myself personally and about the kind of support I want to offer others. And I think there’s something that we can all learn about being present.

People have been telling me they want to “train” with me, learn from me. Sure, there are things I know and I’m glad to share them. What I am beginning to realize is that what people want is not what I “know” in my head, it’s not data, factual information or even the experience I have working with trauma, attachment and dissociation – what people want is the experience of being connected to themselves. How to live in their body-heart-mind and stay centered in that. That’s what people want more than anything. The intellectual information when conjoined with the experience of staying true to yourself is vital.

We’re so used to looking outside ourselves for the answer that when we see “it” in another, we reach for it. We think “it” out there is where it is. We forget that whatever “it” is, “it” is a reflection of what’s inside – otherwise we would never know it or want it.

The feedback I get from people is they are moved by my authentic speaking, by my honesty about the journey. What I know is they are looking for their own inner connection, their alignment, their authentic expression.

My task is to steer you back to your own knowing. To help you to learn how to sing your own song, to hear the music that arises inside you and have the joyous freedom to be able to express it.