Thursday, January 21, 2010

This Precious Moment


A nightmare woke me. I have them rarely at this point in my life (thank goodness.) But this horrid dream was with me, lingering. I felt myself at odds, disrupted, not wanting to sleep, afraid I would reinhabit that world.

Rattled I could think of nothing to do, so I sat and watched the chaos of my mind.

How hard it is at times to find this simple moment. I get completely pulled into all the important contents. I think of Sharon who wrote asking me to blog more frequently and realize with slight panic that I didn't reply back after asking how she was doing. My heart fills when I think of a client who is in a disastrous situation with colleagues at work, I think of the husband of a couple I work with who is struggling with whether to leave his relationship. Tears flow as I digest their stories, holding their struggle with them, knowing there is nothing to do but to be with them.

My mind begins to unclutter as I allowing each thought, each person, each heart filled moment to pass through. As I acknowledge the presence of each moment I return, softly, finally able to grab hold of the thread of my breath as the moments and experiences of a full life metabolize.

For a fragment of a moment I release the grip of my mind and clarity illuminates so gloriously I struggle to receive it - and it recedes. I am aware, once again, of how my meaning making mind lays yet another filter on this moment, this simple precious moment of being.

This is what I want. Nothing compares to this utterly uncomplicated longing to find what's there between each to-do, each filled moment of life. This is what I want - to connect with this brilliant emptiness.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

We Can Change!


I’m doing a lot of reading and learning as I prepare to bring the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills into an online format.

In the last few years I have been fascinated with the new thinking and research on brain development and neuroplasticity. Huh? Basically that means that the brain can change – we can change.

What that means for those with a trauma history prone to patterns of depression, anxiety, fear, terror, distress – it means we can change those patterns. It is so absolutely important not to get defined by these patterns. If we do, we’re stuck.

What’s possible though is to live the life we want to live. You can change. The distress you are in can be adjusted and shifted.

Where does this lead? Practice (smile!) Yes, the more we practice something new and different the more we are changing and altering our own internal experience.

That’s why I’m always looking for new ways to reinforce new patterns. The Safely Embodied Online Community is one way to do that and the new Becoming Safely Embodied Basic Skills Course will do the same.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Meditation gone awry and found again



This morning as I sat intending to focus my mind I found instead the wild elephant of old. This mind of mine was pushing and pulling completely chaotic and disruptive. I watched my mind careen down path after path captivated by whatever arising disruption was occurring.

What happened to my steady breath? Gone. I was, yet again, beginning, as if I had never meditated before.

As I realized my unruly mind I laughed and lightened my own mental heaviness. My trying so hard was making the process harder.

That allowed for my mind to calm, to harness the wild elephant. As I felt the rise and fall of each breath I was grateful for the simple call to be present. To rest in this moment and discover it more fully.

[What better way to illustrate this communion than with Gregory Colbert's images from Ashes and Snow exhibition]

Friday, January 01, 2010

Inspiration: Shifting Road Rage

There are always moments when we can shift our consciousness, change a pattern. Often we are in such a hurry that those moments move past us too quickly to catch. This story that Arthur Rosenfeld tells is uplifting and inspiring. I hope you enjoy it as well. Here's the link to the article in the Huffington Post.