Giving Better Back

Mona Barbera is a terrific therapist, especially with couples. She recently wrote a book "Bring Yourself To Love: How Couples Can Turn Disconnection Into Intimacy" and it's really worth reading. I've had many clients read her book and find it immensely helpful.

Here's an interview she gave on Fox News in Boston.

One of Mona's key points is Giving Better Back. The idea is that when someone is reactive with you try not to react back to the reaction. Instead offer them something better, offer them the response you would have wanted for yourself. Give them something better. The simple beauty of this small jewel is that when we give our partner, loved ones, friends something better, their defenses relax and the end result is they give us the better back.